Love Thy Neighbor

I want my children to grow with love. To grow with kindness. To be genuine. To be full of heart. I see it in their eyes. It glows through their skin and radiates through their smiles. It shines in their laughter, and their shenanigans and goings on.

I had an experience tonight that quite frankly scared the shit out of me. I’m not going to go into detail on it, but it was all too similar to a year I had in high school. That year, through loss, I learned how to truly value your friends. Tonight, through grace, there was no loss. But the memory of the fall of 1999 is still too close to the front of my mind. It still hurts. But tonight, I cry mixed tears. Tears of joy and relief. And tears of sorrow and regret. And I thank God that I am able to sit here and write this through blurry eyes.

And I do some serious thinking.

What are we doing to teach our children about the value of another person? What are we doing ourselves to seek out the value in other people?

What am I doing not being the example of one who does these things?

I want my children to grow with love. To grow with kindness. To be genuine. To be full of heart. I see it in their eyes. It glows through their skin and radiates through their smiles. It shines in their laughter, and their shenanigans and goings on. That is what I want them to live in. I don’t ever want to see that light and that love fade.  Yet, I know where life can bring us to at times, and how that light can burn too strong, for too long, and eventual begin to fade.

The power in life is knowing how to truly cherish that kindness, heart, that laughter, and those shenanigans. How to carry that light to the darkest of places, knowing it will always light the way. I really don’t think it can be that simple. It’s not just a capability we develop as we grow older It is a test of our strength and our weakness. Of our souls, our hearts, and our minds. It is an epic battle of sorts that we must fight from time to time. It’s a battle we fight for our fellow man, woman, child.

I think I lost the last skirmish.

But tonight is that turning point. Tonight is when I sharpen the swords, rally the troops, and prepare for the surprise attack at dawn. How far will I let the darkness blind me in my walk? Or, will I choose to kindle the flame that burns so brightly in my children’s faces? I can see it in them. I know it’s there. And I know that it is my duty to protect it at all costs, and to no end. That duty calls for me to show that same light in myself.  A journey I think I am ready to take on once again. I am willing to fight for my fellow man, woman, and child.

The world is in pain. The world is in vain. The world is losing that light from the inside out. As we grow older, it is a fight that our children will inherit from us. An environment that we will create. The question now remains: How are we prepping them for battle? Are we just playing defense? Or are we going to start the revolution?

As Real as it Gets

It is my hope that this logic becomes infectious this year. That the definition of what a real man is will change in the minds of those who are most influential, most heard, most revered by popular culture. It’s just my thought that they could just fuel the revolution in ways that we cannot. But the fight does begin with us. And it is time to do something about it.

It’s not just the sweet, the cute, and the innocent things children do that will take your breath away. It’s also the bruised noggins, the busted lips, broken bones, ear piercing tantrums, randomly thrown toys, first time outs, first punishments, late night explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting. It’s getting into bed at 1am only to be up at 4am with a screaming newborn who is hungry enough to eat a horse every few hours. It’s getting your child in an alligator hold to get them to take medicine so you don’t have puke and snot everywhere on you. Sound appealing yet?

Probably not. But that’s okay. But it is important to understand one thing: Parenting is not always appealing. It’s not always easy, it’s not always fun, and it’s not always rewarding. It is tiring, it is stressing, it is frustrating. Being a good dad is not about being happy, being perfect, and being the best friend your child can ever have. It’s about being there. Being there through the bad as well as the good. Being there for the rough as well as the smooth sailing. No matter how it’s going, it’s all about being there.

It pains me to listen to half of the garbage that comes across the radio these days. Listening to the messed up view of what being a real man is. It almost makes me sick. Sure you can stick through the hard times, like prison, getting shot, wrecking your car, overdosing on drugs, or what the hell ever. But on the other side of it all is a woman who is suffering through a painful, 15 hour labor, giving birth to a child that you will turn your back to, will never know you, and will never have a father that they deserve. How much of a real man is that being?

I just have to wonder what we are letting the world perceive as the definition of being “real”. This is something that I ponder quite often. As we stand up and try to change the face of fatherhood, what are we doing to stand up against the things that are destroying what we strive for? Do people really just have that big of a misconception of what being a real man is?

This, the parenting, the discipline, the doctoring, the late nights, the early mornings, this is as real as it gets. This is what we live for. Day in, day out, week after year, fast year after fast year. Without second thought we go through the worst as well as the best because it is who we are. It is our calling as dads to be there, regardless of what is going on. It’s not going to be easy, it’s not going to be perfect, and it’s not going to be what we think it will. In parenting, if everything is going the way you want it to, then something is going majorly wrong.

That’s just the way I see it. Maybe it’s because I am here, I am willing to put up with the crap, and I am blessed even when things aren’t going so swell. It is my hope that this logic becomes infectious this year. That the definition of what a real man is will change in the minds of those who are most influential, most heard, most revered by popular culture. It’s just my thought that they could just fuel the revolution in ways that we cannot. But the fight does begin with us. And it is time to do something about it.

The Revolution Never Ends

The revolution never ends. It continues within ourselves and within the lives of other dads. We form new ideas, we begin new practices, and we change our thoughts, all to become better dads, husbands, sons, brothers, co-workers, and people. The question now is this: What are you doing to revolutionize yourself? How are you positively impacting your life for the betterment of your children and your family? And how are you living the example that the revolution means to us here?

If you have been a loyal reader of DadRevolution in the past, then you know that the content flowing through here ended kind of abruptly. If you are new to visiting this site, then just look at the time span between this post and the previous. It has been quite some time (in internet time) since you have seen a new post here. So what brings me to logging in at 12:30 at night, and writing this post?

The reason we all said yes to writing on this group blog was because we believe in writing out our thoughts, feelings, and experiences in fatherhood and in trying to inspire dads all over the world to stand up and become more to their children than the world perceived them to be. In also living this example to people who see us outside of black and white, we have all had to focus on our priorities and what is going on in our real lives. Whether it is directly related to our children or not, everything we do, has them in the picture somewhere. Whether it is switching jobs, dropping hours to stay home more, traveling, or whatever,  the reasons that make us “dad” are the reasons we do them.

We all started writing for DadRevolution because we believe that the world of the dad is changing, the roles of the modern dad are changing, and they are changing in an awesomely powerful way. We hoped to share inspiration, hope, and a message that it is okay to be a parent. We are in no way limited to societal views, sitcom perceptions, and the family practices of old. It doesn’t really matter if brands are paying more attention, or the news is paying more attention, or even if the government was paying more attention. What matters is that we are more than writing examples of the changing landscape of fatherhood. We are living examples of it as well.

So as life has carried us on with time, life has carried us away from here. Most of us are maintaining an online presence elsewhere, and the time demands that social media beings try to meet can make it the hard to add on the extra time and energy. Some of us have moved away from the social media scene as we react to where the real world is taking us, and make the decisions that are necessary for our families and ourselves. In these ways, and in the absence that grows deeper on this site, we live these examples.

However, the revolution we believe in has not ceased to be. In fact, it roars all around us, everyday, in the lives of many. Dads all over the world, dads all over the country, dads that live down the sidewalk, are all carrying this revolution with them. And everyday, in all new ways, dads are giving new life by revolutionizing themselves. They are revolutionizing their own fatherhood and the lives of fathers around them. You see, the revolution is a revolution of self. Without taking the time to decide for ourselves what kind of fathers we will be, then the revolution as a whole has no meaning. we

The revolution never ends. It continues within ourselves and within the lives of other dads. We form new ideas, we begin new practices, and we change our thoughts, all to become better dads, husbands, sons, brothers, co-workers, and people. The question now is this: What are you doing to revolutionize yourself? How are you positively impacting your life for the betterment of your children and your family? And how are you living the example that the revolution means to us here?

Why This is the Year of the Dad Blogger…

There has been a lot of talk this year about the fact that this is the year of the dad blogger. .I have had a a lot of time to think about this, being a dad myself, for me when starting my Dad of Divas blog, I started this for myself. I did it to share my thoughts and concerns about being a father.

There has been a lot of talk this year about the fact that this is the year of the dad blogger. .I have had a a lot of time to think about this, being a dad myself, for me when starting my Dad of Divas blog, I started this for myself. I did it to share my thoughts and concerns about being a father. When I started blogging three years ago, there were dads out there, but most dads were focused primarily on the topic of fatherhood. There were not many fathers out there that were getting into the other things that bloggers do in regards to reviewing / product giveaways, etc. Moreso it was a bunch of dads that were out there to share their thoughts on fatherhood, supporting each other and celebrating in the positive times and listening in the negative times.


Today, this remains similar. Most of the dads that are out there are still the same guys. They want to give their thoughts on parenting, their thoughts on being a father and what it means to them, talking about their failings and the things that they are doing well. At the same time, they are trying to set themselves apart. I think that it is this last point that sets the dad blogger apart from others. You see mom bloggers have been out there for some time, but dad bloggers have been happy to stay in the background for the most part. It has only been more recently when the media and brands have started to see that in fact, dads do have an opinion and that Dads are making many of the decisions in the home on what to or not to purchase. It is not just moms anymore that are making the decision about what to buy at the store, but that there are many dads out there that are now making these decisions while mom does not.

So Dads are playing a much more integral part in the retail decisions, the family decisions. Now, in my own household, I would say that we have an equal partnership, that we work together to make decisions, in many homes it may not be equal. Still though, the voices of both parents need to be heard.

I also think that having a dad in a child’s life is a very important thing, and I think that media as well as people in general are starting to realize this. There are more and more research studies that have been released that show the importance of fathers int he lives of their children. Also, at the same time you are seeing the importance of dads involvement in the self esteem of a child. Being a parent in general is a large  burden to bear at times, knowing that you hold the future of a child in your hands. Whether you are the parent of a boy or girl, the same research shows that as a father you are letting them see what a man should be like in the world. Thus, they are watching you for answers, whether positive or negative (so beware!).

So as a father you are showing your child about how a man should act toward other women, toward other friends. You are giving them a standard on which to consider other men (now if that is not a huge weight to carry around, I don’t know what is). Thus, as you can see, a father is very important in this regard.

So when the question of what makes this the year of the Dad Blogger comes up, I believe that there are many reasons and it depends on what you are looking at. Are you looking at why this is the year of th Dad blogger in regards to brands and retail purchasing decision and marketing towards Dads as a consumer? Are you asking what the importance of the father in the rearing of a child or the importance of a father figure in a child’s life? Are you asking what the importance of a male role model or a male image for boys and girls growing up. So really it goes down to the underlying question that one is asking when asking this question. There is no easy answer, and many times the answer spurs many more questions, as any good question should.

Overall though, this is the year of the Dad Blogger. The Dad blogger’s voice is becoming stronger and stronger and it is becoming stronger because people like you want to hear what we have to say. I see this as a very good thing and something that will only be the start to something bigger.

Viva La Revolution! Onward live and grow the dad voice, onward grow the Dad Revolution!

Time to Revolutionize… Supersizing Fatherhood

Ok Dads, in thinking about the idea beyond Dad Revolution, we are trying to help you think about fatherhood in a different way. As many of you who have followed us in the past have found, all of us from Dad Revolution are passionate about our families and our children and we are doing what we can to share our experiences, thoughts and ideas on how you can be a Revolutionary Dad.

I was on my way to work today and I saw a billboard that I see every day, one of a HUGE Big Mac from McDonalds and it made me start to think about fatherhood. Now don’t get the wrong idea, I was not hungry and I do not spend much time even frequenting McDonalds, but instead, I was thinking about the concept of supersizing oneself.

Now how the heck do you supersize yourself? Well, when I talk about supersizing yourself, I am referring to the idea that as a father you need to be larger than life. You need to go above and beyond to be there for your children and also your wife. You cannot simply sit back and be the equivalent of a kiddy meal. Instead you need to be the X-Large Dad that your family can be proud of.

By now you may be saying, this Dad of Divas guy has fallen off his rocker (or he is really hungry). But I would retort that no, I truly believe that all of us have it within ourselves to be extraordinary in our own ways. I can think back t a father that I know that was working with his daughter on her pinewood derby car. He knew that he would not be able to be at the actual race because of work, so he did tremendous research to find out how to make the perfect car for his daughter. So hand-in-hand they worked together and low and behold, she ended up winning the pinewood derby race.

So all-in-all, I am writing today to challenge all of you to step forth on a path to supersize yourself (now don’t start over-eating…that’s not that I want). Do something extraordinary to make you stand out to your family and your kids and come back here and talk about it. Become a part of the Revolution and let us know how you are doing it!

It is time for the revolution to start! It is time for you and I to take a stand to make fatherhood mean more and to stand out. Be a hero to your family and kids and join us in being Revolutionary! We look forward to having you stand with us.

The Air Is Buzzing with the Talk of Revolution

The revolution wasn’t about dads trying to take over the world, or take all the glory from the moms of the world. The revolution was about making ourselves better, becoming more involved, and being the best dads we know how to be.

Me and The KiddosHello to readers far and wide. Come and stand right by our side. The air is buzzing with talk of revolution.  And like Rock And Roll it isn’t noise pollution.

Hello to readers far and wide. Come and stand right by our side. The air is buzzing with talk of revolution. And like Rock And Roll it isn’t noise pollution. Okay, I know it’s a little corny, but had to make a quip for the entrance to this post. My name is John (aka The DaddyYo Dude) and I am honored to be a new contributor here at Dad Revolution. My journey into the dad world began with the birth of my son, Caleb, back in 2007. It was the most magical time in my life. Being a new dad, being a young dad, and being a scared dad. A lot of emotions ran deep and it is impossible for me to put them all into words. However, the family unit didn’t seem complete, until we had Marlee in 2009. With the birth of my second child came the birth of a new me, figuratively speaking. My views on being a dad and what it meant to be the best dad I could be started to shift and take on new meanings.

I started with The DaddyYo Blog back in April of this year. I started writing about my experiences and my trials and fears of beign a dad. Soon after something else magical started happening. The dadosphere became electric with 2010 being called “the year of the daddy blogger” and more and more dads were seeking to define what it meant to be a dad in these times. The role of dad in the household was being redefined, and the talk of revolution was in the air.

For me, the revolution brought on a hightened sense that I was not alone in the dad world. I wasn’t the only one wanting to be more active in my children’s lives. The revolution wasn’t about dads trying to take over the world, or take all the glory from the moms of the world. The revolution was about making ourselves better, becoming more involved, and being the best dads we know how to be. Dads all over the world are redefining the role of the dad in the family and letting it be known that we are not afraid to change diapers, not afraid to feed a newborn a bottle, and not afraid to sling a diaper bag over one shoulder and sleeping child over the other. I am honored to be a part of such a great group of dads, who like me, seek to be active in the lives of their children, WANT to be involved parents, and of course, love their children with a passion only a father could have. Welcome to the Revolution, and thanks for tuning in!

Not all revolutions are faught with guns

Hello, I am @TheDADvocate better known as Kevin. My story starts slightly differently from my fellow revolutionaries as it should. I started bloging on April 11, 2009 at  MySpellingSucks.com. Only a few weeks into my new blogging hobby I wrote an article on the seventh aniversary of the loss of our first pregnancy. The article was titled Seven Years and one of my wife’s friends read the article and pointed my wife to it. After reading the article my wife decide to do something completely out of character for her and submitted it along with a beautiful letter to our local magazine, The East Cobber.

Every June The East Cobber runs a Father of the Year contest and the article won me the honor of the position.  I was very honored, but I was also puzzled. Why did a simple article about loving my family qualify me as father of the year? The question stayed with me through the summer and into the early fall. At one point I was running to The Home Depot <not a sponsor but we sure would welcome them> and observing all the other dads doing their homely duties and the term DADvocate shot into my head. The term had imeadiate weight and meaning and in combination with the question of why expressing love for my family made me father of the year, sparked a new project. The DADvocate Project: I launched The DADvocate Project in November. I wanted to find out if most dads were like me. I believed that they were. I wanted to do a project related to my family because I’m happiest when interacting with them. I knew nothing about the daddy blogging community yet. I was on twitter but more to network locally then to find a community of dads. I defined three phases to the project with a survey, an interview series, and a book. I always need one more dad to take the survey so if you haven’t and your interested in being part of it go to The DADvocate Project Survey. Finally: I was honored when the dad’s here asked me to join their Dad Revolution as I have been a lot less involved in the daddy community then many of them have been. That said you should expect to see a different perspective form me in the following ways.

  1. As far as I know I’m the only dad here who has a childe with  a disability and I will blog on issues with that occasionally. IF you are truly interested in the disability aspect watch MySpellingSucks.com
  2. I will often talk about the numbers, according to my survey results, related to a daddy topic that is being covered.
  3. Finally, I can’t avoid it if I wanted to, I’ll share ancditoes about my children and everything I learn from them and hopefully occasionally things I taught them.

The DadRevolution is not about guns or bringing an edgy attitude but much more about being a real man, one who lives up to his responsibilities, not down to societies standards. The DadRevolution is about a bunch of MEN who are great dads because they want to be not because they have to be. The DadRevolution is about loveing your family and kicking lifes butt at the same time. The DadRevolution is about helping us and other MEN understand our roll in society. It is also about helping society understand our role as we have defined it not as society/Hollywood defines it. We are here to take back our role in society now Join The Revolution  or get out of the way.

 

Fathers Should Have A Voice in Today’s Society

As a father I am challenged daily and continually am learning about myself, as well as about patience, remaining calm in all situations and staying strong even through challenging situations.

I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Chris, better known as Dad of Divas.

As a father I am challenged daily and continually am learning about myself, as well as about patience, remaining calm in all situations and staying strong even through challenging situations.

About 2.5 years ago I started my blog (Dad of Divas) to talk about the experiences that I was having as a father as well as provide my thoughts on products and such with people that would be interested. Since then, my blog has continued to grow and I am tying new things and expanding into new horizons each day.

I was excited about getting asked to be a part of the DadRevolution as in the past 2.5 years since I started blogging I have become more and more amazed at the great examples of fatherhood that are out there! Too many times you hear the horror stories of fatherhood and not the ones that make a difference, and I hope that I can shed some light on one father who is just trying to do that…make a difference in my own girls’ lives.

I believe that fathers should have a voice that companies should want to hear. As you will come to hear from some of the other Revolutionaries, being a Stay-at-Home Dad (SAHD) is becoming more and more common and as fathers we too are buying and making decisions for the household, but many companies only cater certain decisions to us, and many times these decisions fall into the purchasing of alcoholic beverages and electronics. This needs to change!

I also believe that it is time for Dads to stand up and let people know what makes us tick. It is not always  the media portrayed picture of the beer drinking, sports loving, woman lusting man, but instead, men who are doing what they can to balance their lives and to be engaged with their families in all types of ways.

It is time for guys to stand up and say enough is enough and to let the world hear that as fathers we are planning to make a difference in not only our childrens’ lives but in the community and world around us!

Let the DadRevolution begin!