I had an experience tonight that quite frankly scared the shit out of me. I’m not going to go into detail on it, but it was all too similar to a year I had in high school. That year, through loss, I learned how to truly value your friends. Tonight, through grace, there was no loss. But the memory of the fall of 1999 is still too close to the front of my mind. It still hurts. But tonight, I cry mixed tears. Tears of joy and relief. And tears of sorrow and regret. And I thank God that I am able to sit here and write this through blurry eyes.
And I do some serious thinking.
What are we doing to teach our children about the value of another person? What are we doing ourselves to seek out the value in other people?
What am I doing not being the example of one who does these things?
I want my children to grow with love. To grow with kindness. To be genuine. To be full of heart. I see it in their eyes. It glows through their skin and radiates through their smiles. It shines in their laughter, and their shenanigans and goings on. That is what I want them to live in. I don’t ever want to see that light and that love fade. Yet, I know where life can bring us to at times, and how that light can burn too strong, for too long, and eventual begin to fade.
The power in life is knowing how to truly cherish that kindness, heart, that laughter, and those shenanigans. How to carry that light to the darkest of places, knowing it will always light the way. I really don’t think it can be that simple. It’s not just a capability we develop as we grow older It is a test of our strength and our weakness. Of our souls, our hearts, and our minds. It is an epic battle of sorts that we must fight from time to time. It’s a battle we fight for our fellow man, woman, child.
I think I lost the last skirmish.
But tonight is that turning point. Tonight is when I sharpen the swords, rally the troops, and prepare for the surprise attack at dawn. How far will I let the darkness blind me in my walk? Or, will I choose to kindle the flame that burns so brightly in my children’s faces? I can see it in them. I know it’s there. And I know that it is my duty to protect it at all costs, and to no end. That duty calls for me to show that same light in myself. A journey I think I am ready to take on once again. I am willing to fight for my fellow man, woman, and child.
The world is in pain. The world is in vain. The world is losing that light from the inside out. As we grow older, it is a fight that our children will inherit from us. An environment that we will create. The question now remains: How are we prepping them for battle? Are we just playing defense? Or are we going to start the revolution?