Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone

Sometimes, in order to be a good parent, you have to step outside your comfort zone. What works best for you may not actually be the best solution for the little ones, and in the grand scheme of things, their needs trump yours. You have to adapt and overcome. Mealtimes in our house are a good example of this. We decided early on that we were going to place a high value on family meals. We always try to sit around Read More...

The See-Saw Effect: Balancing the Daddy and Hubby Roles

I have to be love, relationships, understanding, sacrifice, support, mutuality, trying, forgiveness, failure, and success and I have to be the example of those things as well. If I am setting the wrong example, I am probably being the wrong husband. If I am being the wrong husband, I am probably being the wrong example. So the see-saw tips back and forth, but with a little more ease. I’m never going to be the perfect of either, but I can keep the rocking to a minimum. Those relationships are too important to let slip, and too intertwined to let go.

There are many things I was never told about, when it comes to parenting, before I had to experience them for myself. Perhaps it was intended this way because, honestly, the subject I am trying to tackle today is not an easy one. It is probably one of those things I am better off experiencing before the advice rolls in because it is not really something that someone outside can help with. There are two definitive a Read More...

What’s been bugging me.

I don’t want to be the absentee dad who is there only in body but not in mind. I don’t want to be part-time. I want it all. I want them to look back on their younger years and see that I was right there beside of them, brushing teeth and wiping butts and playing Barbie and building Legos and dancing along with whatever version of Just Dance they put it. I want to be there. I will be there.

I’ve been so overwhelmed lately. Work has been crazy, as we’ve seen such a huge increase in traffic over the last few weeks (ask The DaddyYo Dude, he’s there for it. I saw it on his face last weekend), Hope’s spring semester of law school has started, the kids have been battling the crud (that’s what we call getting sick), and that damn dog keeps digging holes in the back yard. Ok, tha Read More...

Cutting Through the Cute

Knowing that the tears will fall and my baby girl, that precious baby girl, will cry, probably scream, maybe even flail about like a marlin that has jumped on shore, just breaks my heart. No dad wants to see his little girl crying. Yet, when the time comes, there are those times that we have to stand our ground, and like Tom Petty, we won’t back down. It’s a tough, cruel world that causes a dad to have to go through that. Or… it’s a stubborn, tough as nails, independent, sassy little diva, who just uses her powers to the fullest.

My precious daughter has me wrapped so tight around her finger that it is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, cut off the circulation, makes your fingernail turn a funky purple/blue color before just dropping off like a melting icecicle. I’ve heard it said very often that most little girls become daddy’s girls. And that dads are just powerless against the awe that comes to them when becoming the dad of a dau Read More...

Why Do They Like Me?

There are times when I honestly can’t figure out why my kids like me. Sometimes, when I reflect back on the day, it seems like all I did was tell them what to do and then punish them if it wasn’t done. When I try to look at myself through their eyes, all I see is a 15 foot tall, yelling monster. When I think about that, it’s impossible to like myself, much less see how anyone else could. I hate pu Read More...

Luckiest Man Alive

With good, there is bad. With greatness, there is weakness. And where there is winning, there is failure. So where do I go from here? I head to the medicine cabinet, take some ibuprophen, take a deep breath, and I get my head out of my rear and get back in the game. This is what I signed up for. This is where I wanted to be. And now, this is where I am. I’ll learn more about taking the bad with a grain of salt and taking the good as memories to treasure. I will put my family ahead of me just as much now as I did as a full-time working parent. I will praise the blessings I am given, and learn to live as the luckiest man on Earth.

As I have said before, I am finding out quickly that being a stay at home parent is not as easy as it had seemed before I started spending more time at home. There is so much than can happen in the course of one day, and very rarely will a day go the way I hope it will. Sure, we plan out a nice evening walk before bath and bedtime. But we don’t plan the trip off of the curb, the busted knee, the sudden rain, Read More...

Let the Kids Help

My biggest shortcoming as a Naval officer is definitely my ability (or lack thereof) to delegate. I would much rather just do the job myself and make sure it’s done correctly than take the time to train someone else and then check their work afterwards. This is something that I try to work on, but (as with anything worth doing), it’s not easy. As I gain rank and responsibility, however, it’s going Read More...

One day, there will be no surprises.

It happens almost every single day. I even ask them, just to double check and possibly prevent it from happening. The kids disappear for awhile, sometimes announcing what they are doing, sometimes secretly and privately. They are only off of the grid for a minute, before Marley asks for a book and a cover, or Gavin just yells throughout the house what his status is. That’s right, it’s potty time. Not ju Read More...

As Real as it Gets

It is my hope that this logic becomes infectious this year. That the definition of what a real man is will change in the minds of those who are most influential, most heard, most revered by popular culture. It’s just my thought that they could just fuel the revolution in ways that we cannot. But the fight does begin with us. And it is time to do something about it.

It’s not just the sweet, the cute, and the innocent things children do that will take your breath away. It’s also the bruised noggins, the busted lips, broken bones, ear piercing tantrums, randomly thrown toys, first time outs, first punishments, late night explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting. It’s getting into bed at 1am only to be up at 4am with a screaming newborn who is hungry enough Read More...

The difference between you and I

You’re a dad. I’m a dad. We love our kids. We shower them with affection, we roll in the floor with them, and we read them bed-time stories. We wash butts, we brush teeth, and we cook macaroni and cheese. It tends to be more Spongebob macaroni than any other, but it’s still macaroni and cheese. We wash clothes, we fold clothes, and we pick out clothes for school, for play, and for bed. We are jung Read More...

Watching from a Distance: With Tearful Eyes

At a critical stage for development in them, I reach a critical stage of backing off. The new year roles around and so do many changes. I’m sure there will be many memories made, many new things learned. And plenty of opportunities to just sit back and watch.

Yes indeed, the year is about at it’s end. So much can happen in the course of 365 days. There are a lot of memories to be made, a lot of learning that can occur, and a lot of growing up to be done. During the last 12 months, we have seen a lot of change, a lot of growing, and have made a lot of memories. In looking back to the beginning of the year, and looking upon all of the events of the year, I turn my f Read More...

My Secret Weapon

Being a parent is exhausting whether you’re a single, stay-at-home/work-at-home, or working parent. As one of the latter, I’m usually tired before I get home. I’m normally awake around 5:15 and out the door by 6:00. I’m currently on shore duty, and while my current job isn’t necessarily difficult, it is still taxing in it’s own ways. I drive to work about half the time which inv Read More...

Where thumbs go

Some of you may have already come across this post. It’s one from the vault, but it happens to be one of my favorites. It’s actually one of Apsie’s favorites, too, as when we talk about the blog he always seems to mention the mixture of Fruity Pebbles and gin. I love the fact that he is so enthusiastic about it, and laughs hysterically when we talk about it. So, hopefully you will enjoy it as much Read More...

Friend vs. Parent

I hate disciplining our kids. I absolutely despise having to yell at them, and it normally ruins my entire night. I’ll kick myself for letting the situation get that far, and I’ll lie awake at night questioning my methods. If you ever heard your parents say, “This is hurting me more than it’s hurting you,” you probably thought, “Yeah right.” It turns out that they were tell Read More...

Keeping the Holidays Spirited

The world does not have enough compassion, enough love, enough hope. Remember the hopes and dreams you had as a kid? Somewhere, we have lost sight of the joy and the peace these hops and dreams bring. But it was never just us. This holiday season, teach your kids that it is never just us. There is a whole world of people with hopes and dreams.

The holidays are always such a magical time for children. There’s the lights, the sounds, the enthusiasm. Kids all over the world are celebrating many different holidays around this time of year. In our house, we are getting ready for Christmas this weekend. The presents are wrapped, the tree is lit up, and the kids absolutely cannot stand the fact they still have a few days left before they can open presents Read More...

Sweating a Sex Education Class for Fathers and Sons

I watched as fathers and their sons entered the auditorium for the evening’s edification. Each pair sat side by side, talking to one another in hushed voices, as if waiting for a funeral to commence. I quelled my tension by trying to place myself in my son’s situation. Surely he must be feeling weirder than I about being dragged to yet another event “that’s good for him.” I was careful not to squirm.

Fatherhood continues to amaze, delight and enrich me. I just went to a sex education class with my 11 year-old son, and yes, I was secretly dreading it. My wife signed us up. She was almost giddy from the program’s great reviews she’d heard through her ever-flowing moms’ grapevine. “Everyone says it’s the best… you’ll love it,” she exclaimed. I wasn’t so sure. T Read More...

It doesn’t take sharing a roof to be a dad.

I watched a movie tonight that I have seen a few times before. The movie was “The Blind Side”. You know, the one with Sandra Bullock and that big ol’ football player that made it to the NFL. Yeah, that one, the one that makes you just want to adopt some poor kid off the street and set him up for a career with a pro sports team. It’s a great movie, with a great message, but tonight it started Read More...

The Revolution Grows

I’m Military Dad, and I have officially joined the Revolution. I have written guest posts here before, and I have now been asked to become a full contributor on this incredibly valuable site. It’s an amazing honor and quite humbling for a blogger as small time as myself to digitally work alongside such huge names in this field like The DaddyYo Dude, NewYorkDad, DaDa Rocks, and the rest of the distingui Read More...

Tobogganing For Dads: Hill Repeats

If you’ve got kinds under 5, you know that messing around with them is a great workout. You’re running, you’re stretching, you’re lifting 40 pound squirming dumbbells. It doesn’t do much to mold and sculpt your body (Dads have beer guts. It’s from how we hold our kids, we can’t help it.) but at least it’s some physical activity that is challenging different muscle gro Read More...

Doing The Right Thing

This family is bigger than just me, and my desires have to be prioritized against everything else. When the scales tip away from me, it’s time to make sacrifices. There will be other days to do what I want. The books aren’t going anywhere and our DVD collection will stay put. I might be able to lie on the floor with the kids tomorrow, but tonight calls for me to sit on the couch with the wife instead. To me, that’s what doing the right thing means.

One of the central concepts behind the Dad Revolution website is doing the right thing as a father. Let me tell you about a fairly common scenario that helps demonstrate what this means to me. On my desk at work, I have an electronic picture frame that continuously cycles through family photos. Every snapshot features my wife, daughter, son, or some combination of the three. I normally eat my lunch at my desk, and Read More...