Often times you read through parenting blogs and read about the great and wonderful things that being a parent can mean. For the most part, it is true. Having kids, being a dad, this feeling of love and adoration is next to nothing. It is an incredible thing to be a dad and I would not want my life to be any different.
Here’s the catch though: Being a dad can also be frustrating, angering, and upsetting. I know what you are thinking, “Yeah, I know this dude”. Let me take it one step further and say that being a dad also has the capability to completely and totally suck. Not all the time mind you, but that is just words of truth. Let me break it down for you today.
Everyone has a different definition for what being “dad” means. To me it means being a playmate, a friend, a doctor, a teacher, provider, protector, leader, and guide. Six of these sound great to think of yourself as and two of them sound like great professions. Then there is one that is great to be, and sucks to be, both at the same time. Provider.
In the end, I know I will be a better person for it. Recently I have looked at having to make a lot of really tough decisions. I am looking at stepping out of a comfort zone and into something new. Not because I want to, but because I have to. I realize that there are some dreams and hopes that will just have to continue to wait. To me personally, it’s just not fair.
That’s just it though. When I became a dad, I gave up those rights in a lot of ways. It’s not about what’s fair to me now. It’s about what my family needs me to do in order to provide for them and keep us safe. This would not be the first time I have done it, but for some reason, it seems harder. So close to so many dreams and now… Now I will just keep on dreaming for a while.
That’s the job though. That is what I am called to do. I put myself aside because I am not as important as those that I love, and those I am called to serve. They are my family. My wife, Little Man and Little Girl. That’s my life. Does it hurt? Hell yeah it does. I cried today. But those tears will dry. The redness will wash out of my eyes, and my feet will carry me where I need to go. That’s what I need to to. That’s what I have to do. That’s what it means to be “dad”.