Emulating health relationships is important for our children, as most kids today get something of a warped sense of how relationships work as they watch movies, reality TV and the like. Even through billboards, magazine ad and articles and other such material, our children today are being immersed by a plethora of images that somewhat skews their sense of what does and what does not constitute healthy relationships.
As this image portrays, one would believe that Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara were the perfect couple (that is until you watch more parts of the movie – beyond this scene that is). Thus, though this may look very real in a young it is in fact much more complex than one might see on the big screen.
This imagery starts when they are young with movies that are geared for kids such as from Disney such as: Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty & The Beast, The Little Mermaid (all favorites in the Divadom). While I am not saying these movies are bad examples for kids, I am saying that our children are exposed at an early age to the idea that in relationships everything works out in the end and there is little strife or work that has to occur in regards to relationships. While children may not understand the complexities of relationships they will understand the concept of They Lived Happily Ever After” and as parents it is difficult to help them understand that this does happen, but not always. It becomes our job as they get older to understand the reality of life that surround them in regards to relationships and help them to see what a healthy relationship truly is.
Hopefully they are seeing this on a daily basis within your own home between parents or between other family members. In some homes though I know that there may not always be healthy relationships occurring. These are the children that I end up worrying about.
On the following site I found a breakdown at what constitutes healthy versus unhealthy relationships. They stated that:
The signs of a healthy relationship include:
- Loving and taking care of yourself
- Respecting your partner’s right to be himself or herself
- Having a life outside the relationship, with your own friends and your own activities
- Making decisions together, each partner compromising when necessary
- Resolving conflicts through open and honest communication
- Having more good times in the relationship than bad
Unhealthy Relationship
The signs of an unhealthy relationship include:
- Focusing all your energy on loving and caring for your partner
- Trying to change your partner to be what you want them to be
- Dropping friends and family or activities you enjoy
- One partner makes all the decisions
- One partner yells, hits, or throws things at the other during arguments
- Having more bad times in the relationship than good
In thinking about and researching this, I found the following links that I wanted to share with all of you:
- http://www.tvo.org/cfmx/tvoorg/tvoparents/index.cfm?page_id=145&article_title_url=TeachingKidstoBuildHealthyRelationships&article_id=81&action=article
- http://www.public.health.wa.gov.au/cproot/389/2/Teaching_Notes.pdf
- http://ezinearticles.com/?5-Ways-to-Build-Strong-and-Healthy-Relationships-in-the-Family&id=2663242
So today think about the relationships that you have within your life that interact with your children. As you are thinking about these answer the following questions:
- Are these relationships healthy for my children? Why or why not?
- How can I make my relationships healthier for my children?
- How can I help my children understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships?
How would you answer these questions for yourself?
