Old Haunts

It’s that time of year for me at work. It seems it’s always that time of year, but I suppose that is an altogether separate discussion. And, with that time of year, comes the requisite stress of too many things to do, and not enough time to do them. Throw in a few unreasonable deadlines, and it all adds up to longer hours, a high stress level for Daddy, and more than the normal amounts of work making its way home.

Amidst all this though, the one thing that I don’t want compromise on, is the level of attention that I give to my son Lukas. He is an only child, and by practice we expose him to very little media. The result of that mix means that when we are together, he needs and gets most of my attention. I am more than okay with this arrangement too. As I have often brought attention to here and at ‘Luke, I am Your Father’, he is extremely fun to be around. We kid around and laugh together constantly, which is a great elixir to the stresses of the day.

But when life gets busy and I get stressed, as I have recently, I find comfort in feeling like I’m in control. And control means getting things done. Therefore when time is constrained and I am not getting things done it seems to add to my already elevated stress level. It’s usually many of the same things that seem race through my mind and haunt me in these situations.

The paint is peeling off the front steps

There are steps that need repaired

The garage needs cleared out

The lawn needs replanted

The fuit trees need pruned

I promised to do a guest post I haven’t delivered on

I am not supporting my blog freinds enough

I am not responding to comments on my own blog

I am not posting about products that have been sent to me

I am not putting enough thought into the posts I do post

I am not spending enough personal time with my wife

I am not getting enough sleep

I am eating too much sugar

I am not calling my parents often enough

I should be working out more, or at least some

My career should be advancing faster than it is

I am not capturing enough of my son’s growth on film 

And the list certainly could go on. I keep thinking to myself, “If I only had more time.” And it’s true too. If I had an extra 4, 3, or even 2 hours a day to spend on the list of things that haunt me I doubt my stress level would be as high during times like the one I am experiencing at work.

But taking time away from spending with my son, at this critical time of his development, is still not an option. The stress relief I get from laughing, teaching, and having fun with Lukas will still always outweigh that which I would get from not spending that extra time with him and focusing on getting other things accomplished.

I suppose I just need to figure out how to work less for the same pay.

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