5 Jaded Tips For Choosing The Perfect Valentines Day Gift

After a few years (or any really…), Valentines Day loses its sheen for us guys.  While I started out with the hopes of writing some amazing tips for finding her that perfect present, things did not quite go as planned… I am confident that you will find our suggestions useful (except for #4, I don’t know what I was thinking there), but not very romantic.  That being said, it is perfect for those of you who like me have had enough of this holiday, but know what needs to be done!

Ask Her Friend For Help – This is a great approach on two fronts: The first obviously being that her female friend will more than likely have a far greater ability to recognize and select a present that your significant other will actually like. The second, more long-term reason is that her friends can make a terrific ally the next time you screw up (or she tells you that you screwed up).  Choose the friend your significant other is most likely to confide in during a crucial fight. In those moments, your new ally will be able to say, “I remember when he asked for help on that Valentine’s Day present. I WISH I had a significant other who cared about ME that much!” Your significant other will immediately feel guilty and simultaneously reminded of one of your many strengths.

Women Subconsciously Appreciate Value
– You are dealing with professional shoppers (seriously, just look at your credit card statements if you need proof here) and finding a great value says, “While money is no object this Valentine’s Day, I’m no dummy either.”  While there is no way I would suggest telling her what you spent when presenting your generous gift, your savvy shopping skills are something she is almost genetically required to respect.

Vacations, Somehow, Aren’t Presents
– Lets say for Valentine’s Day you take her on vacation. Like to a hotel, with a flight… even though that’s a LOT of money, and even though she won’t admit it, your significant other still expects ANOTHER, more tangible gift. Side note: For reasons that continue to defy logic, expensive meals don’t count either! They sincerely believe the vacation (and all included) is for both of you and since you both might enjoy it, it doesnt count. So: (See Tip #2)

Check Her Emails
– To be honest, this will more than likely cause harm than good. It’s unlikely you’ll find much correspondence, if any concerning or specifically referencing gift suggestions. Though perhaps just a general sense of what is going on in your significant other’s life, day to day, and who exactly she is talking to could somehow bring you closer together (or more likely end up in a disastrous fight). If you get any tips for finding that perfect gift, bonus!  On the other hand… totally ignore this suggestion.

Her Favorite Color
– If you are like me, you have no idea what your significant others favorite color is, so see Tip #1.  While this one may seem like an obvious tip, finding out this basic information will go a long way towards making your choice for you (or at least it will eliminate most of what you find out there).  See, women only want three things on Valentine’s Day: Attention, Attention more Attention! And not just from you, but from other people (women) who WATCH her get attention from you. So going out of your way to find something in her favorite color is just the kind of attention they require every February 14th.

If all of these tips fail, just go with flowers or chocolates, but keep in mind that these are not bound to get you far (and I think you know what I am talking about).  Sure, she will pretend like she likes them, but again these fall into the same category as #3 and just do not count.  If for some reason you have one of those women who “doesn’t care about these kinds of things” please, let me make something clear for you right now, they do and they are testing you.  Best of luck this year… you’re gonna need it, but if you take my advice you have a small chance of getting through this “holiday” unscathed.


Thanks to Scheky Dad – hopefully he’ll drop us some more goodies over time.

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