We all get busy in our lives once we get married and when we add kids to the mix, our lives and our creativity sometimes takes a back burner. As parents we put all (or at least most) of our energy into our kids’ lives and sometimes our partner in the family dynamic gets left behind.
Have any of you felt this way?
I know that for me this definitely has occurred on and off within my wife and my 12 years of marriage. I know that I was much more romantic early in our relationship and definitely prior to getting marriage.
So why does this happen?
I think from conversations that I have had with other dads, this occurs because we become comfortable and busy. Comfortable with the way that our lives are going and busy with the hustle and bustle or family lives (can we say sports, school and swing sets?).
So how do we get out this rut?
All of us want romance in our lives, yet what our definitions of romance differ between each individual. I can say that I definitely like to feel wanted and appreciated and I know that my partner does as well. To provide this for her I try little things such as:
- Surprising her with small notes around the house
- Doing chores I normally would not do
- Giving her time to do things that she normally would not get to do
- Giving small gifts periodically (as we can afford them)
- Taking the kids away to give her some quiet time (as she is a stay-at-home mom)
All of these small things keep our relationship strong, and I hope, also providing a strong example for our daughters of what they should aspire to in their own relationships within the future.
How do you keep your romance alive?