A Kid’s Eye View of Marriage

For some reason, JSL has been fixated on marriage recently.  We live in New York so it is possible that he picked up rumblings of what was going on here recently.  Of course, from the eyes of a four year old, the concept of marriage gets distorted slightly, but to humorous effect.

JSL once asked me why I married B.  I replied that I loved her very much.  That was both the right answer and the wrong one.  It was the right answer because, well, it’s true.  I love B more than words can express.  I did so when I proposed to her (aka “squashing bugs” since I nearly went down on one knee where a bunch of ants were congregating).  I still do.  It’s the wrong answer because JSL, being a four year old, is naive of the various kinds of love and the behaviors that one engages in when involved in those kinds of love.

All JSL knows is the love of a father/mother/brother.  (I’d add in grandparents, uncles, aunts, great-grandparents, etc, but you get point.)  To him, this love involves playing games, reading stories, watching TV, eating tasty treats, being silly and many other fun activities.  He’s completely oblivious to the “activities” that a Mommy and a Daddy might partake in to express their love once the kids go to bed.

Recently, he began telling us that he was going to marry various people.  One conversation went something like this:

JSL: “I want to marry you, Daddy.”

Me: “You can’t marry me, JSL.”

JSL: “Why not?”

Me: "Because I’m already married to Mommy.”

JSL: “Oh, ok.  Then I want to marry NHL!”

Me: “You can’t marry your brother.”

JSL: “Then I’m going to marry Mommy!”

At this point, I noted that it was bedtime (in fact, he was already in bed at the time) and he was just delaying going to sleep.  JSL, not one to drop a topic, though, just picked it up again the very next day with B.

JSL: “I’m going to marry you, Mommy!”

B: “You can’t marry me.  I’m married to Daddy.”

JSL: “Oh.  Then I’m going to marry Papa.” (B’s father.)

NHL: “You can’t marry a boy. It’s not allowed!”

B (trying not to get into the complexity of recent developments with a 7 year old and a 4 year old): “Papa’s already married.  To Nana.” (B’s mother.)

JSL continues to try to find someone to marry.  Hopefully, he won’t rush into this too much.  He’s only 4 and has plenty of time to find the person he wants to marry.  Besides, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

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My name is TechyDad. Alright, my name isn’t really TechyDad, but I’d prefer to keep my true identity hidden. Kind of like Clark Kent except I’m not an intrepid news reporter for the daily planet, but a web developer for a health care organization. Oh and I’m also not an alien that can fly and shoot lasers out of my eyes. I’m married to the most wonderful woman in the world, B and have two wonderful children NHL and JSL. You might know B as the blogger behind TheAngelForever.com. She had been blogging for quite awhile when I decided to give it a go. I’m a self-described nerd who is interested in all things technology, even if monetary realities don’t allow me to buy all the newest cool toys. I’m also a kid at heart. I will happily get down and dirty playing with my kids or sit on the couch with them watching cartoons. One of the perks of fatherhood: you get to play with toys and watch cartoons and pretend it’s for them! I also am an amateur photographer and can easily fill up a memory card or two if given the chance. I like writing about an eclectic mix of topics. One post may be about programming. The next might be about a boy’s day out with my kids. The one after that might be about copyright law and the one following that might be about a new gadget I’d love to get. My blog is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.

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