For some reason, JSL has been fixated on marriage recently. We live in New York so it is possible that he picked up rumblings of what was going on here recently. Of course, from the eyes of a four year old, the concept of marriage gets distorted slightly, but to humorous effect.
JSL once asked me why I married B. I replied that I loved her very much. That was both the right answer and the wrong one. It was the right answer because, well, it’s true. I love B more than words can express. I did so when I proposed to her (aka “squashing bugs” since I nearly went down on one knee where a bunch of ants were congregating). I still do. It’s the wrong answer because JSL, being a four year old, is naive of the various kinds of love and the behaviors that one engages in when involved in those kinds of love.
All JSL knows is the love of a father/mother/brother. (I’d add in grandparents, uncles, aunts, great-grandparents, etc, but you get point.) To him, this love involves playing games, reading stories, watching TV, eating tasty treats, being silly and many other fun activities. He’s completely oblivious to the “activities” that a Mommy and a Daddy might partake in to express their love once the kids go to bed.
Recently, he began telling us that he was going to marry various people. One conversation went something like this:
JSL: “I want to marry you, Daddy.”
Me: “You can’t marry me, JSL.”
JSL: “Why not?”
Me: "Because I’m already married to Mommy.”
JSL: “Oh, ok. Then I want to marry NHL!”
Me: “You can’t marry your brother.”
JSL: “Then I’m going to marry Mommy!”
At this point, I noted that it was bedtime (in fact, he was already in bed at the time) and he was just delaying going to sleep. JSL, not one to drop a topic, though, just picked it up again the very next day with B.
JSL: “I’m going to marry you, Mommy!”
B: “You can’t marry me. I’m married to Daddy.”
JSL: “Oh. Then I’m going to marry Papa.” (B’s father.)
NHL: “You can’t marry a boy. It’s not allowed!”
B (trying not to get into the complexity of recent developments with a 7 year old and a 4 year old): “Papa’s already married. To Nana.” (B’s mother.)
JSL continues to try to find someone to marry. Hopefully, he won’t rush into this too much. He’s only 4 and has plenty of time to find the person he wants to marry. Besides, I can’t afford a wedding right now.
